The Experiment

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?” the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…

“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

*hahahaha ... I like Little Johnny.

Assassin Test

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, Interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists… Two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!”

The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”

The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, “This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

sorry to say ...

Have you ever felt like this before?

I thought you know me, Dear ... but sorry to say, you don't know me that much.
You don't know what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what makes me worried, what makes me angry.
You even don't know how I feel when you say things to me...

You think you know me well, my Dear ... but sorry to say, you're wrong.
You think you know what's best for me ... but sorry to say, you only know what's best for you.
You say that you love me, Dear ... but sorry to say, it's not enough.

Couples

Boy : May I hold your hand?
Girl : No, thanks. It isn't heavy.
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Girl : Say you love me! Say you love me!
Boy : You love me...
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Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes, dear...
Girl : Then ... would you die for me?
Boy : No, dear ... mine is undying love.
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Girl : If we become engaged, will you give me a ring?
Boy : Sure, what's your phone number?
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Girl : Darling, I want to dance like this forever?
Boy : Don't you ever wanna improve?
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Boy : I love you and I could die for you.
Girl : How soon?
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Boy : I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl : Yes, but would you stay there?!
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Woman : You remind me of the sea.
Man : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Woman : No, because you make me sick!!!!
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Mary : John says I'm pretty, but Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
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Girl : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
Boy : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple in this world.
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Wakidjan vs. Tukidjo

Wakidjan begitu terpesonanya dengan permainan piano Nadine.
Sambil bertepuk tangan, ia berteriak, "Not a play! Not a play!"
Nadine bengong. "Not a play?"
"Yes. Not a play. Bukan main."
Tukidjo yang menemani Wakidjan terperangah.
"Bukan main itu bukan not a play, Djan."
"Your granny (Mbahmu). Humanly I have checked my dictionary kok. (Orang saya sudah periksa di kamus kok)"
Lalu berpaling ke Nadine. “Lady, let's corner (Mojok yuk).
But don't think that are nots (Jangan berpikir yang bukan-bukan). I just want a meal together."
"Ngaco kamu, Djan," Tukidjo tambah gemes.
"Don't be surplus (Jangan berlebihan), Djo. Be wrong a little is OK toch?"
Nadine cuma senyum kecil. "I would love to, but .."
"Sorry if my friend make you not delicious (Maaf kalau teman saya bikin kamu jadi nggak enak)" sambut Wakidjan ramah.
"Different river, maybe (Lain kali barangkali). I will not be various kok (Saya nggak akan macam-macam kok)."
Setelah Nadine pergi, Wakidjan menatap Tukidjo dengan sebal.
"Disturbing aja sih, Djo. Does the language belong to your ancestor (Emang itu bahasa punya
moyang lu)?"
Tukidjo cari kalimat penutup. "Just itchy Djan, because you speak English as delicious as your
belly button." (Gatel aja, Djan, soalnya kamu ngomong Inggris seenak udelmu dewe).
Wakidjan cuman bisa merutuk dalam hati, "His name is also effort." (Namanya juga usaha).


*can't stop grinning...

A Quick Laugh

Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
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A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It's mommy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything!
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