Scene 1:
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria : Here it is
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class : Maria.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 2:
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John : You told me to do it without using tables.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 3:
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
Glenn : K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
Glenn : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 4:
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald : H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald : Yesterday, you said it's H to O.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 5:
Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie : Me!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 6:
Teacher: Fred, why do you always get so dirty?
Fred : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 7:
Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
Millie : I is ...
Teacher: No, Millie ... Always say, "I am"
Millie : All right ... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks uncle Rob...
March 14, 2009
February 23, 2009
The Experiment
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
“Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?” the professor asked.
Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…
“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”
*hahahaha ... I like Little Johnny.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
“Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?” the professor asked.
Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…
“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”
*hahahaha ... I like Little Johnny.
Assassin Test
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, Interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists… Two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!”
The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”
The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, “This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”
The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, “This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
sorry to say ...
Have you ever felt like this before?
I thought you know me, Dear ... but sorry to say, you don't know me that much.
You don't know what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what makes me worried, what makes me angry.
You even don't know how I feel when you say things to me...
You think you know me well, my Dear ... but sorry to say, you're wrong.
You think you know what's best for me ... but sorry to say, you only know what's best for you.
You say that you love me, Dear ... but sorry to say, it's not enough.
I thought you know me, Dear ... but sorry to say, you don't know me that much.
You don't know what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what makes me worried, what makes me angry.
You even don't know how I feel when you say things to me...
You think you know me well, my Dear ... but sorry to say, you're wrong.
You think you know what's best for me ... but sorry to say, you only know what's best for you.
You say that you love me, Dear ... but sorry to say, it's not enough.
February 22, 2009
Couples
Boy : May I hold your hand?
Girl : No, thanks. It isn't heavy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Girl : Say you love me! Say you love me!
Boy : You love me...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes, dear...
Girl : Then ... would you die for me?
Boy : No, dear ... mine is undying love.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Girl : If we become engaged, will you give me a ring?
Boy : Sure, what's your phone number?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Girl : Darling, I want to dance like this forever?
Boy : Don't you ever wanna improve?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Boy : I love you and I could die for you.
Girl : How soon?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Boy : I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl : Yes, but would you stay there?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Woman : You remind me of the sea.
Man : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Woman : No, because you make me sick!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Mary : John says I'm pretty, but Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Girl : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
Boy : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple in this world.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Wakidjan vs. Tukidjo
Wakidjan begitu terpesonanya dengan permainan piano Nadine.
Sambil bertepuk tangan, ia berteriak, "Not a play! Not a play!"
Nadine bengong. "Not a play?"
"Yes. Not a play. Bukan main."
Tukidjo yang menemani Wakidjan terperangah.
"Bukan main itu bukan not a play, Djan."
"Your granny (Mbahmu). Humanly I have checked my dictionary kok. (Orang saya sudah periksa di kamus kok)"
Lalu berpaling ke Nadine. “Lady, let's corner (Mojok yuk).
But don't think that are nots (Jangan berpikir yang bukan-bukan). I just want a meal together."
"Ngaco kamu, Djan," Tukidjo tambah gemes.
"Don't be surplus (Jangan berlebihan), Djo. Be wrong a little is OK toch?"
Nadine cuma senyum kecil. "I would love to, but .."
"Sorry if my friend make you not delicious (Maaf kalau teman saya bikin kamu jadi nggak enak)" sambut Wakidjan ramah.
"Different river, maybe (Lain kali barangkali). I will not be various kok (Saya nggak akan macam-macam kok)."
Setelah Nadine pergi, Wakidjan menatap Tukidjo dengan sebal.
"Disturbing aja sih, Djo. Does the language belong to your ancestor (Emang itu bahasa punya
moyang lu)?"
Tukidjo cari kalimat penutup. "Just itchy Djan, because you speak English as delicious as your
belly button." (Gatel aja, Djan, soalnya kamu ngomong Inggris seenak udelmu dewe).
Wakidjan cuman bisa merutuk dalam hati, "His name is also effort." (Namanya juga usaha).
*can't stop grinning...
Sambil bertepuk tangan, ia berteriak, "Not a play! Not a play!"
Nadine bengong. "Not a play?"
"Yes. Not a play. Bukan main."
Tukidjo yang menemani Wakidjan terperangah.
"Bukan main itu bukan not a play, Djan."
"Your granny (Mbahmu). Humanly I have checked my dictionary kok. (Orang saya sudah periksa di kamus kok)"
Lalu berpaling ke Nadine. “Lady, let's corner (Mojok yuk).
But don't think that are nots (Jangan berpikir yang bukan-bukan). I just want a meal together."
"Ngaco kamu, Djan," Tukidjo tambah gemes.
"Don't be surplus (Jangan berlebihan), Djo. Be wrong a little is OK toch?"
Nadine cuma senyum kecil. "I would love to, but .."
"Sorry if my friend make you not delicious (Maaf kalau teman saya bikin kamu jadi nggak enak)" sambut Wakidjan ramah.
"Different river, maybe (Lain kali barangkali). I will not be various kok (Saya nggak akan macam-macam kok)."
Setelah Nadine pergi, Wakidjan menatap Tukidjo dengan sebal.
"Disturbing aja sih, Djo. Does the language belong to your ancestor (Emang itu bahasa punya
moyang lu)?"
Tukidjo cari kalimat penutup. "Just itchy Djan, because you speak English as delicious as your
belly button." (Gatel aja, Djan, soalnya kamu ngomong Inggris seenak udelmu dewe).
Wakidjan cuman bisa merutuk dalam hati, "His name is also effort." (Namanya juga usaha).
*can't stop grinning...
A Quick Laugh
Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter : It's mommy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 19, 2009
A 'Love' Talk
One night ...
I had a chat with one of my girl friends, talking about guys *this is the most fave topic for girls :P
She asked me things she wants to know about guys ... how about this ... how about that ... how do I know if ... why is it like that ... how does it look when I ... How do you know whether ... *standard questions
On the other side, my boy friends also ask me questions about girls *this is also the most favorable topic for guys
They talk about love ... confusing & indescribable. They look for love. They wanna know everything about love.
All those things above make me think:
~ When you find your love ... how does it feel?
~ When you get your soul mate ... then what are you gonna do?
~ When you feel your true love ... is it the end of the conversation?
I had a chat with one of my girl friends, talking about guys *this is the most fave topic for girls :P
She asked me things she wants to know about guys ... how about this ... how about that ... how do I know if ... why is it like that ... how does it look when I ... How do you know whether ... *standard questions
On the other side, my boy friends also ask me questions about girls *this is also the most favorable topic for guys
They talk about love ... confusing & indescribable. They look for love. They wanna know everything about love.
All those things above make me think:
~ When you find your love ... how does it feel?
~ When you get your soul mate ... then what are you gonna do?
~ When you feel your true love ... is it the end of the conversation?
February 18, 2009
Hundredth time
Dear my baby boy,
I know you love the movie soooooooo much but I don’t think that I can make it anymore. We’ve been watching that for hundred times this month.
My baby boy … I really wanna accompany you while you are watching movies, but it seems that I don’t wanna make it become the thousand times c”,)
I just have one request: Would you please pick up another title?
*He really likes to watch Disney’s The Cars
I know you love the movie soooooooo much but I don’t think that I can make it anymore. We’ve been watching that for hundred times this month.
My baby boy … I really wanna accompany you while you are watching movies, but it seems that I don’t wanna make it become the thousand times c”,)
I just have one request: Would you please pick up another title?
*He really likes to watch Disney’s The Cars
18 years ago..
Once upon a night-time..
---------------------------------------------
Mr.E says:
gw pernah dijambak dan dijewer
haha
Mizz Cicil says:
hahahaha
sapa yg suka jambak lo?
Mr.E says:
sm bu lisa dijewer cambang
bu dede di jambak
sm bu lina disayang
*halahhhh haha
eh iy gw jd ingettt
gw beneran disayanggggggg
gw inget, gw disuruh apa ya yg tiap pagi itu
cek tandatangan ato buku tugas
trus bukatutup lemari dia
Mizz Cicil says:
astaga ... gue aja blank ga inget apa2
Mr.E says:
hihi suddenly i remember that
small part of what i did
hihi iya gak
kl pagi2 biasa disuruh kumpulin apa sih
tdtngn ulangan gitu ya
Mizz Cicil says:
seinget gue dulu lo 'galak' bener
Mr.E says:
galak? masa?
Mizz Cicil says:
iye ... meja pake digaris batas segala
ga boleh lewat
apaan tuh?
Mr.E says:
hah? serius? huahua
Mizz Cicil says:
serius
ada yg msh inget loh sama kelakuan lo dulu
hahahahahaa
Mr.E says:
apa lagi ayoh crita2
Mizz Cicil says:
mmm
rada 'nyolot' juga ... (masa cowok2 galak, sih?)
ya gitu deh, kesenggol dikit, marah
Mr.E says:
ahhhhhhh lu salahhhhhhhh
bukan gw kaliiiiiiiii
bukan erwin guaaaaaaaa kan ada lagi erwin yg laennnnnnnn
Mizz Cicil says:
hahahahaha ga ngakuuuuuu
erwin yg tulisannya kaya 'rumput' itu kan cuma satu
beli penggaris panjang trs ditaro di tengah2 meja buat bates
pake ngancem "kalo lewat bates ini ... awas lo yah!!!"
hihihihih
Mr.E says:
lu exxxxxxxxxxageratingggg
huahuahua
astaga.. did i do that ?
Mizz Cicil says:
trs kl dapet ulg / PR /PS yg udah dinilai
lgs cepet2 diumpetin ke tas
takut diliat nilainya .... hahahahaha
Mr.E says:
ahhh ngibulllllllll
haha
*in denial mode
Mizz Cicil says:
beneran
ingetan gue masih tajeeeeeem
Mr.E says:
hihi
ingetnya yang jelek2 nih
penggaris
ngancem
ngumpetin pr
Mizz Cicil says:
hahahahaha
Mr.E says:
haha why did i do that..
Mizz Cicil says:
krn lo ga mau nilai lo diliat orang
apalagi yg lo anggep 'saingan'
gitchuu
Mr.E says:
lu ya saingan gw ?
haha oh my my.. lucunya gua duluu haha
Mizz Cicil says:
ga tau deh ... kan lo yg anggep
gue kan ga ngerasaaaa
Mr.E says:
hihi
ahhhhhhhhhhhh mau back to the past
brp taon lalu tuh ya
20 ya
Mizz Cicil says:
iya kali ... lupa...
lucu yah kl inget2 lagi
tingkah anak2 kecil suka aneh
Mr.E says:
iya sih
br brasa aneh
Mizz Cicil says:
hahaha
ntar jangan cengar cengir pas pulang
inget penggaris
batas meja
umpetin kertas ulg
Mr.E says:
i still cant believe
it was me
huahua
Mizz Cicil says:
hahahaha lo inget2 lagi deh
sapa tau ada enlightenment about ur past
Mr.E says:
lu salah org kali
gw yakin lu salah orang
haha
Mizz Cicil says:
kaga
berani jamin
*ih .. masih ga ngaku
hahahaha
Mr.E says:
wekk
Mizz Cicil says:
ngancemnya pake bisik2
supaya ga kedengeran guru
wakakakakakaa
Mr.E says:
hah boong luu haha
hmm kayanya percakapan hr ini
boleh dimasukin blog
haha
Mizz Cicil says:
hahaha
lo masukin deh
*eh, beneran dimasukkin blog c",)
Thanks to Mr.E for the editing process
---------------------------------------------
Mr.E says:
gw pernah dijambak dan dijewer
haha
Mizz Cicil says:
hahahaha
sapa yg suka jambak lo?
Mr.E says:
sm bu lisa dijewer cambang
bu dede di jambak
sm bu lina disayang
*halahhhh haha
eh iy gw jd ingettt
gw beneran disayanggggggg
gw inget, gw disuruh apa ya yg tiap pagi itu
cek tandatangan ato buku tugas
trus bukatutup lemari dia
Mizz Cicil says:
astaga ... gue aja blank ga inget apa2
Mr.E says:
hihi suddenly i remember that
small part of what i did
hihi iya gak
kl pagi2 biasa disuruh kumpulin apa sih
tdtngn ulangan gitu ya
Mizz Cicil says:
seinget gue dulu lo 'galak' bener
Mr.E says:
galak? masa?
Mizz Cicil says:
iye ... meja pake digaris batas segala
ga boleh lewat
apaan tuh?
Mr.E says:
hah? serius? huahua
Mizz Cicil says:
serius
ada yg msh inget loh sama kelakuan lo dulu
hahahahahaa
Mr.E says:
apa lagi ayoh crita2
Mizz Cicil says:
mmm
rada 'nyolot' juga ... (masa cowok2 galak, sih?)
ya gitu deh, kesenggol dikit, marah
Mr.E says:
ahhhhhhh lu salahhhhhhhh
bukan gw kaliiiiiiiii
bukan erwin guaaaaaaaa kan ada lagi erwin yg laennnnnnnn
Mizz Cicil says:
hahahahaha ga ngakuuuuuu
erwin yg tulisannya kaya 'rumput' itu kan cuma satu
beli penggaris panjang trs ditaro di tengah2 meja buat bates
pake ngancem "kalo lewat bates ini ... awas lo yah!!!"
hihihihih
Mr.E says:
lu exxxxxxxxxxageratingggg
huahuahua
astaga.. did i do that ?
Mizz Cicil says:
trs kl dapet ulg / PR /PS yg udah dinilai
lgs cepet2 diumpetin ke tas
takut diliat nilainya .... hahahahaha
Mr.E says:
ahhh ngibulllllllll
haha
*in denial mode
Mizz Cicil says:
beneran
ingetan gue masih tajeeeeeem
Mr.E says:
hihi
ingetnya yang jelek2 nih
penggaris
ngancem
ngumpetin pr
Mizz Cicil says:
hahahahaha
Mr.E says:
haha why did i do that..
Mizz Cicil says:
krn lo ga mau nilai lo diliat orang
apalagi yg lo anggep 'saingan'
gitchuu
Mr.E says:
lu ya saingan gw ?
haha oh my my.. lucunya gua duluu haha
Mizz Cicil says:
ga tau deh ... kan lo yg anggep
gue kan ga ngerasaaaa
Mr.E says:
hihi
ahhhhhhhhhhhh mau back to the past
brp taon lalu tuh ya
20 ya
Mizz Cicil says:
iya kali ... lupa...
lucu yah kl inget2 lagi
tingkah anak2 kecil suka aneh
Mr.E says:
iya sih
br brasa aneh
Mizz Cicil says:
hahaha
ntar jangan cengar cengir pas pulang
inget penggaris
batas meja
umpetin kertas ulg
Mr.E says:
i still cant believe
it was me
huahua
Mizz Cicil says:
hahahaha lo inget2 lagi deh
sapa tau ada enlightenment about ur past
Mr.E says:
lu salah org kali
gw yakin lu salah orang
haha
Mizz Cicil says:
kaga
berani jamin
*ih .. masih ga ngaku
hahahaha
Mr.E says:
wekk
Mizz Cicil says:
ngancemnya pake bisik2
supaya ga kedengeran guru
wakakakakakaa
Mr.E says:
hah boong luu haha
hmm kayanya percakapan hr ini
boleh dimasukin blog
haha
Mizz Cicil says:
hahaha
lo masukin deh
*eh, beneran dimasukkin blog c",)
Thanks to Mr.E for the editing process
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